Jane: Hi guys… you look tired… what have you been doing?
Tamer: We’ve been playing five-a-side with the lecturers down in the gym. Mr. Foster got a team together from the staff, and I got some students together. The teachers beat us 8: 2.
Jane: But they are all old… they must be in their 30s and 40s!
Larry: They are, but they are fit! That Mr. Foster cycles to work every day… and Mr. Walker goes running every lunchtime… and that Dr. Baker plays squash, and they both must be in their mid-forties!
Jane: Yes, but there’s another thing…. you guys smoke, and the lecturers don’t. And I think maybe you’re a bit scared to tackle them hard as well because they are your lecturers… am I right?
Tamer: Maybe, but I bet on a proper football field we’d run rings round them! Do you girls play any sports, Alison?
Alison: Well, I’m in the uni hockey team actually.
Sarah: Yeah… and I play volleyball. We play tennis on Saturday mornings as well.
Larry: So, do you play against the teachers as well?
Alison: No. It doesn’t seem to be what older women want to do. I think your teachers are just trying desperately to stave off old age!
Sarah: That, or pretend they are still young!
Tamer: Anyway, I think it would be a good idea to organise a mini-league. You know, different national groups.
Larry: I think different departments would be better. It would be really good for bonding.
Loud Drunken Singing from Another Table
Larry: Oh no… it’s the rugby club having another piss-up!
Sarah: Yeah… they’re always getting drunk and singing rude songs and stuff.
Tamer: Well… it’s all part of the tradition, isn’t it… they behave like hooligans in the bar, but they’re supposed to be gentlemen outside… I mean, it’s mostly middle-class students who play rugby, isn’t it?
Sarah: Yeah… what is it they say? “Soccer is a game for gentlemen, played by hooligans, and rugby is a game for hooligans played by gentlemen.” My flatmate told me that football is a traditionally working-class game.
Tamer: Yes. Rugby is a really rough game. It looks it anyway.
Alison: What is rugby, anyway? Is it like what they play in America?
Larry: No, no… it’s only the ball that’s the same shape… basically, they have no protection like they do in American football… no helmets and padding and stuff… it looks really scary.
Tamer: Yeah… rugby players get to act out their violent fantasies on the rugby field, get drunk and behave like hooligans in the bar and then go to work as doctors and lawyers on Monday morning.
Larry: Yes… whereas when football players do that they call them hooligans!
Alison: But I guess it’s good… I mean, at least it controls their aggression.
Sarah: It’s great… all the opportunities we have to play sports here. I mean, they even have women’s rugby, football and cricket teams… did you know that?
Tamer: What are the rules of cricket, by the way?
Larry: I don’t think we should even go there! You have to be English, born-and-bred to understand them.
Sarah: Or from the Commonwealth countries. Also, I’ve heard that in India and Pakistan they are even madder about cricket than the English!
Alison: Yeah… and in Australia and South Africa too.