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雅思小伦哥#雅思写作批改服务
雅思小伦哥#雅思提分月计划课程
A heated issue is still under discussion（避免开头段模版） whether parents or teachers should take the responsibility to give children lessons regarding（固定搭配on/in） being good members in society. While parenting makes a lifelong impact on children,（开头段避免提出下文不重点讨论的观点） I maintain that school is even（不需要使用even比较与强调） more ideal for the socialization.
（插入不定冠词A）School （a）boasts a society-like environment and the （b）special training that turns students into qualified citizens. Firstly, school and society have much in common in terms of community-centered life（语言啰嗦，both school and socity are community-centred）, creating suitable conditions for instruction. Secondly, teachers, the educational professionals can function (人不是物品，建议用perform) as effective guides by（固定搭配in） leading students to right directions in related affairs（避免使用类似中式英语以及不准确的表达）, which contributes to their sound development.（leading与contribute to重复，建议句子合并，...and sound development.） Finally, it is true of students that (it is true that一般用在让步段) school shapes them with opportunities and challenges just like in society.（这个理由属于分论点的a观点，，应该与firstly内容一起讨论，不建议拆开） For example, relationship crises push the learners to work out the peer problems, from which they can learn to deal with interpersonal relations.
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雅思写作5.5分范文(优选5篇)
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